


Caught in the Crossfire

by See_you_in_a_minute



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Major Character Injury, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:28:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24846076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/See_you_in_a_minute/pseuds/See_you_in_a_minute
Summary: "A split second. That's all it took for him to know the bullet had hit its target. The target he hadn't aimed for. The target his hand had gravitated to without him knowing. Her sudden gasp for air was audible even over the chaos as her eyes widened in shock."An angsty Steve, Nat, Bucky and Sam fic based between Civil War and Infinity War. Things don't go to plan on their way to Wakanda.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> I've been trying to finish this for weeks and finally got round to it over the weekend. This is the first of six chapters based between Civil War and Infinity War as Nat helps Steve free the prisoners at The Raft and get Bucky to Wakanda.
> 
> The first chapter is a little long, and the whole fic is a bit of an angsty mess that wouldn't leave me alone, but please let me know what you think :)
> 
> x

Natasha Romanoff prided herself in being one step ahead of her enemies.

And two steps ahead of her friends.

She had lived in the compound with her odd little family for a number of years but not one of them could out smart her, not even Clint. She didn't need the super strength of Steve or mind control of Wanda; what she had, she had learnt. She had trained for since a child, and there was no one that could take it away from her.

She was a spy. The best of her kind. And yet she knew that she had changed over the years. She was known the world over as the Black Widow, but few knew the true meaning behind the name.

A name that she tried to distance herself from nowadays. She was different. Better. Better than she ever thought she could be. And that was because she had finally found a group of people she could call friends.

Friends that were now locked up in one of the most secure prisons in the world. Friends that still thought of her as nothing more than a double-crossing spy, despite the fact that she would do anything to keep them safe.

Tony blamed her for what happened to Rhodey because it was easy. Because in Tony's mind Natasha was a spy first and everything else came second, despite everything they had been through together. She knew that Tony had only said what he had out of grief and frustration but it didn't make it hurt any less.

She had also known from the beginning that she had to sign the Accords but not because she believed it was the right thing to do. They were stronger together, she had said as much, but what she wouldn't ever voice was the fear she felt at the thought of not being together. Of not being able to turn to them when she had a problem or relax in the compound after a long day.

They were more than just friends they were family. And family had to stick together.

She had to stay two steps ahead. So she signed the accords to keep the trust of those she needed to believe her, hoping the others would know that she would never turn on them. There was no way Tony and Steve would agree, but she couldn't let them kill each other to prove a point.

Tony's words still stung just as much when he had made it clear he didn't trust her, despite the fact she would trust him with her life.

Despite everything that had happened over the past few days Natasha's only priority now was helping the team, even if it was without Tony. Steve would be working on a plan right now but he wouldn't be able to free them on his own, and Bucky was far from useful in his current state.

She had returned to the compound when Tony was out. She knew JARVIS would have tracked her as soon as she was within a half mile of the place, but also knew that Tony wouldn't do anything about it. He didn't want to see her right now but he wouldn't come after her just yet. Not until he was pressured into it by the powers that be, and even then he'd think of some excuse to let her get away.

She had taken only the essentials and headed for a nearby hotel. Nadine Richmond was now booked into room 204 for the next three days, which should give her plenty of time. The door was kept fully locked with a 'do not disturb' sign permanently on the handle – the last thing she needed was a cleaner finding a wardrobe full of weapons and her Avengers uniform.

Natasha pulled out her phone and checked the room again to make sure she hadn't been followed; it was easy to hide a camera anywhere these days, but she was usually good at finding them.

She had waited long enough for the dust to settle. Taking a breath, she called the most recent number saved to her phone and waited. The phone rang out without an answer and she immediately hit re-dial. After ten minutes of continuous re-dialing the phone was finally answered.

"Steve, it's me. Don't hang up!"

"Natasha?" she sighed a breath of relief at his voice. "How did you get this number? Stark gave me this-"

"Do you really think it took me long to get the number once I knew Tony had given you a burner?" Natasha asked, raising an eyebrow and imagining the look on Steve's face. "I needed a way of contacting you."

There was a pause.

"Natasha, what happened at the airport-" he started, struggling with how to continue.

"I know," Nat finished. "That doesn't matter right now. What does matter is that we currently have the majority of our team held in one of the most secure prisons on the planet. And I can only imagine how much Client is annoying everyone already. If we don't get them out then I'm worried Sam might actually go insane with listening to Barton's stories."

She heard Steve laugh slightly.

"We can't leave them there, Steve."

"Of course we can't," Steve agreed. "I've already had this conversation with Bucky. I'm guessing you know what happened after you let us go? What happened between Tony and I?"

"Yeah, I know," Nat said sadly, Tony's words drifting through her mind again. "But that doesn't matter right now. Stark isn't going to help them out of there but I have a feeling he'll give us a head start, don't you?"

"It's worth a try," Steve agreed. "You've managed to hack into their computer systems?"

"What do you take me for, of course I have," Nat feigned hurt. "I have the location of The Raft and have interjected the signals between there and the choppers so once we're airborne I can make it look like we're bringing them in a new prisoner. Once we're in it gets a little more tricky; I'll need access to their systems directly in order to bring down the security, but that shouldn't be a problem."

"And you've done all this from, where?"

"A hotel room. You don't need to know where exactly. I took my laptop from the compound but it's untraceable. I've checked."

Steve fell silent again and Natasha could almost imagine him nodding his head in agreement.

"You know we can't stay together once we've got them out," he spoke eventually. "Clint can't-"

"I know," she interrupted before he could say any more. "Barton's getting an old man now anyway, he's ready to retire with his wife and kids."

She tried to sound as off-hand as possible but knew it caught in her throat. She wanted nothing more than to spend some time with Clint, Laura and the kids, but the safest thing to do for her best friend once she had helped him escape would be to stay away. He deserved that, after everything.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she spoke quickly. "I got myself into this mess. We get them out and then we head to Wakanda to fix Barnes."

"You don't have to come with us," Steve almost stuttered and Natasha was glad he couldn't see her roll her eyes.

"Actually, I do," she stated. "They're looking for me after I helped you and Bucky escape so I may as well come with you and do something useful. Unless you'd rather I didn't?"

"No, not at all, that's not what I meant," Nat laughed at the awkwardness in Steve's voice. "What I mean is, I don't know what's going to happen once we get there. Or what I'll do after that-"

"Since when have we ever had a plan?" Nat smirked. "So, when are we leaving? I can have a chopper ready within two hours, so just say when."

"I can't ask you to-"

"Stop trying to be the hero, Steve. You're not asking me to do anything, I called you, remember."

She could feel him sigh as he realised he wasn't going to win the argument.

"Ok. We do this tonight. Let me sort out a few things and I'll meet you at base camp at nine? I'll bring the weapons."

"And I'll bring the chopper," Nat answered and hung up before Steve could change his mind.

* * *

Natasha hadn't lied when she said she could get a helicopter within a few hours but she also hadn't stolen one in years. Not on her own anyway. She had dressed in her all black Widow suit under a long coat and left the hotel room with the hood up, a bag full of handguns and her Widow Bites secured to her wrists.

She knew that going anywhere near SHIELD, or whatever was left of it now that HYDRA had been exposed, was a bad idea. She'd be picked up too easily and she really couldn't be bothered to put up a fight right now. But she also knew that HYDRA had a separate base not far from her hotel where they stored their aircraft that needed repair or maintenance.

So that's where she headed.

The airbase had been quiet when she arrived and she had managed to maneuver around the groups of engineers who were casually working away until she slipped into one of the offices.

Natasha laughed to herself at the lack of security. The office door had been propped open with a chair and there was no one in sight. Just as she was expecting. She had regularly walked past the base over the years on the off chance that she'd one day need to visit. HYDRA had as much security as SHIELD had, thankfully.

Staying one step ahead, that's what mattered.

Nat's fingers worked expertly across the keyboard within the office and she quickly gained access to the files she needed. Scanning the log she spotted one chopper that was ready to be returned and smirked – this was too easy.

Another few clicks and the log was updated. The aircraft was signed off as fit to fly and would be picked up directly from base; by the time they realised something was wrong it would be returned and they'd put it down to a computer error. A final click and the tracking devises had been overridden. Unless someone was looking specifically for the chopper she would be able to keep it off the grid for as long as they needed.

Hearing voices on the other side of the door Nat returned the computers to their original screens and slipped back out the office. The helicopter she had chosen was easy to find and she was soon airborne, watching the base shrink below her as she climbed.

There would be some initial confusion, but she was sure she wouldn't be followed.

Steve had mentioned base camp. He wanted to meet somewhere that no longer existed.

Nat knew that Steve was trying to stay safe in fear that their conversation was being monitored but she had understood immediately. Base camp was Camp Lehigh. Which was in New Jersey. It was where Steve had trained as a soldier and where they had nearly been killed just a few years ago. It was where Steve had saved her life and carried her to safety through the rubble and chaos.

He had chosen the location and there was a small part of her that hoped this was his way of telling her that he trusted her. Or it was somewhere that was unlikely to be monitored, but she could hope for the former.

Natasha arrived early and managed to land the helicopter on an even plot of land beside the rubble that used to be 'base camp'. Storing her weapons within the overhead Nat left the chopper and walked the perimeter, checking she wasn't being watched. Satisfied that she was alone she sat down on a large boulder and kicked the dirt at her feet.

It had grown dark as she flew across the states, her mind on autopilot. The temperature had dropped and she shivered slightly as she wrapped her coat around her shoulders a little tighter.

"You're early," his voice was unmistakable.

"So are you," she smirked, looking up and meeting the eyes of Steve Rogers. "Not that I'm surprised."

She was on her feet and in front of him within seconds, pausing a few steps away.

"I've missed you," he spoke and Nat closed the gap, letting him wrap his arms around her and pull her in close.

"Me too."

She breathed in his warmth before pulling away again.

"Chopper's this way," she nodded and Steve followed without comment.

"Is this one of HYDRA's?"

Nat shrugged.

"It has to look legit."

"And they're not going to notice this missing?"

"Not until we're done with it, with any luck."

"How-?" Steve started but shook his head and climbed aboard. "You know what, I don't need to know."

Nat laughed and climbed into the pilot seat.

"Buckle up, Cap. We're a few hours away from the middle of nowhere."

* * *

The majority of the flight was spent in silence but neither found it awkward.

"How's Bucky?" Nat asked eventually and Steve looked over in surprise.

"He's safe," he responds. "Minus a metal arm, but he's alive. I'll find him after we're done here. Didn't think he should come along today."

"Good idea," Nat smiled, imagining the arguments and fistfights that were bound to have started if Bucky had joined them.

"I've never thanked you properly for that day at the airport," Steve started but Nat shook her head.

"You don't have to," she smiled. "I learnt a long time ago that you can't keep everyone happy. Even when you don't mean to take sides, that's the way it'll go. Lucky for you, you were on the good side that day. T'Challa, not so much."

"He wasn't expecting the sting," Steve smirked and Natasha laughed; she knew first hand that a Widow's Bite was far from pleasant.

"No one ever is."

There was silence again as they flew through the night and Steve wondered whether Natasha was as tired as he was.

"I meant what I said earlier, Nat. You don't have to come with us, I know it's going to be difficult with Bucky-"

"Steve, stop," Nat sighed as she checked the computer screen. "We don't have time for any more of your hero speeches, we're here."

Steve glanced out of the window at the blackness below and frowned.

"Where-"

But no sooner had the word left his lips he spotted the movement below as the lights emerged from under the water, a helipad appearing above the surface. Natasha landed the aircraft with ease and killed the engines.

"How long did you say we had?" Steve asked.

"I didn't," Nat's playful smirk was back and Steve knew she was enjoying it. The thrill, the uncertainty.

He also knew it had a lot more to do with rescuing their teammates that the thought of fighting through a prison of heavily armed, trained officers.

"Right now they think we're delivering another fugitive," Natasha spoke as she opened her bag and threw him a gun.

"Just in case," she added as Steve weighted it up in his hand. "You need something if Stark has confiscated your Frisbee."

"Funny," Steve raised an eyebrow.

"I'm being serious," she spoke and for the first time he could see something uncertain flick across her features. "As soon as they realise who we are they're going to fight back. They want us locked up in there too, remember."

"Fine," Steve reluctantly tucked the gun into his pocket and glanced out the window again. "They're going to realise pretty quick, Nat."

"I know," she agreed. "We just need to stop them from raising the alarms long enough for me to get to their security systems. I'm sure you can manage a distraction."

She smiled as she placed a hand on his chest, winking at him, and the playful Natasha was back.

"Bet I can take out more than you, Rogers!"

Steve took a breath as Nat jumped from the helicopter and confidently walked towards the waiting officers at the entrance, their guns poised in defense.

"Flight 618, you should be expecting us," she spoke with purpose and Steve followed behind.

"We were expecting-"

"You were expecting who? Check your records again."

The officer stuttered slightly and glanced towards the computer screen at the entrance. Steve almost smirked – he knew what was coming next.

As soon as the officer's gaze left her Nat kicked out, knocking the gun from his hands and digging her elbow into his stomach. They worked in unison as Steve stepped over the fallen officer and twisted the gun out the hand of the other, throwing him to the ground. He seemed to blink and both officers were out cold, Nat twisting the gun around in her hands as she stood above them.

"What?" she shrugged at the look on Steve's face. "They'll be fine they're just knocked out, now help me lock them in the office. I'll count that as one each by the way."

"I'm not playing your game, Nat."

Steve threw one of the officers over his shoulder and Nat took their security pass, swiping it on the door and smiling as the heavy locking system sprung open.

"We're in," she stated, taking out her own gun again and turning back to Steve. "Security systems are on the top floor, everyone else is on the bottom. Take a left and head downward; I'll meet you there as soon as I can. If they trip the alarms we'll have fifteen minutes to get back to the chopper."

Steve nodded, grabbing her hand before she disappeared into the labyrinth of corridors.

"Be careful," he said and Nat smirked yet again.

"Always am."

He let go and she vanished in the other direction leaving Steve to navigate the prison alone. She had told him to go left but then what? It always amazed him how much Nat could work out without actually visiting somewhere. Clint had always said she was the best spy they would ever meet, and over the years he had realised just how true that was.

Unsurprisingly, the Raft Prison was heavily patrolled. Steve hated to admit it but he felt lost without his shield. It had become a familiar extension to his arm over the years and yet he couldn't bring himself to replace it with the gun in his pocket. Instead, he used the semi-darkness to make his way through the busy control rooms taking down each officer he met with a heavy blow to the head, torso, knees…

Within minutes he was at the entrance to the cellblocks, the heavy metal bars blocking his entrance. As if on cue there was a buzz as he approached and the bars swung open.

"Right on time, Romanoff," he smiled, stepping inside.

The room was vast, it's tall walls rising higher than he could see and his footsteps echoing as he stepped inside. It took him seconds to spot Sam who had turned at the sound of his entrance and he smiled widely, raising an eyebrow.

"You took your time," he laughed and Steve returned the gesture with a shrug.

"I had to practice my swimming lessons," Steve smiled. "You do realise where you are?"

"Well going by the smell of fish… but that might just be Scott."

"Hey!" Scott had moved to the bars of his cell and was watching them closely. "Captain America! I knew you'd come for us, didn't I tell you guys?"

"Could you two hurry things up before someone realises you're here?" Clint asked from his own cell, his trained gaze darting around the room.

"It's all in hand," Steve replied as his phone buzzed in his pocket. The phone Nat had given him on the flight over, along with basic instructions of how to use it. Not that they were needed as the message displayed across the screen.

'Sam 325266'

Steve quickly moved to the keypad at Sam's cell and keyed in the number, remembering the warning from Nat as they flew over.

"The numbers are scrambled every thirty seconds, so you need to be quick."

There was a screech and the door to Sam's cell swung open.

"Me next," Scott smiled as he almost jumped on the spot.

Sam stretched his arms and was at Steve's side in seconds. There was another buzz and Steve checked the screen.

'Bug 268626'

"It's your lucky day," Steve moved quickly again and keyed in the number on Scott's cell.

"How did you even get in here?" Clint asked as he watched Scott almost leap from the cell, a wide grin on his face.

"Shut up and move aside, Barton."

"Nat!"

Natasha had appeared through the main entrance with her own phone in her hand, quickly typing at the screen. Steve almost asked her how she had managed to get from the control room to the holding cells while infiltrating their systems from her phone, but thought better of it. He wouldn't understand even if she told him.

"Gotcha," she smirked, hitting the keys on the number pad and letting the door clunk open on Clint's cell.

He stepped out and instantly wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a tight hug.

"I thought you'd be long gone by now," he breathed as he tightened his grip.

"What, you thought one little argument and I'd leave you here. Never," she pulled away slightly and ran towards Wanda's cell. "Who would I annoy if you were locked up in here?" she shouted back over her shoulder.

"Hang on, whose side are you on now?" Scott asked as he looked between Natasha and Steve but it was Clint that smacked him on the back of the head for his comment with a 'shut up' muttered under his breath.

Natasha frowned as she continued to break into their security systems, over-riding the restrictions that flashed across the screen. For a prison hidden in the middle of the sea she had expected it to be more difficult, but then she doubted anyone thought it could be broken into so easily.

Wanda's cell was heavily secured but she was soon able to loosen her restraints, much to Wanda's relief, and the cell door was finally released.

"Thanks," Wanda stretched out her wrists and rolled her neck. "That was getting claustrophobic."

"Looks like we're going to get out of here before they trip the alarm," Steve called over just as the sirens began to blare from behind them, lights flashing.

"You had to open your mouth, didn't you?" Nat joked, running back to the main door and glancing into the corridor. "How many did you take down?"

"Nine," Steve smirked, meeting her at the door.

"Ha, is that all? I'm on sixteen."

"But two of my guys were huge, they should count as doubles. Anyway, you expect me to believe sixteen with no evidence?"

"You're more than welcome to check the upper corridors," Nat smiled. "Or you could just trust me."

"You know I do," he said, his tone serious.

Nat checked her phone again and muttered under her breath.

"What?"

"We need to go. Now."

Steve turned back to the room but everyone had already followed and were ready to leave.

"We have twelve minutes," Nat stated. "Everyone get to the top deck."

"Twelve minutes until what, Nat?" Clint asked uncertainly and it was only then that Steve realised he hadn't asked that question earlier.

"If we don't get to the chopper then I hope you can hold your breath," Nat responded. "Now go!"

They headed for the top deck at a run, Steve staying at the back as Nat snaked through the corridors at the front. There was a crash from ahead, a grunt of pain and then Nat's voice.

"Seventeen!"

Steve laughed.

"Cheat," he shouted back.

"I thought you weren't playing," her voice disappeared around the next corner and Steve could feel the air getting colder. They were nearly outside.

One more corner and they were out, the cold sea air hitting Steve in the face. Nat had already made it to the helicopter and had the blades rotating as they jumped inside., Steve taking to co-pilot seat again.

The helicopter began to rise just at the roof of the prison began to sink, and by the time they had risen high enough to fly the prison had all but disappeared back under the water.

"Those swimming lessons have gone to waste, Cap," Sam called and they all laughed in a sigh of relief.

* * *

"You want to swap for a few hours?" Clint asked Natasha as he leant over from the back of the helicopter. "You look tired."

"I'm good," she smiled. "I'm not the one that's been locked up for days. Get some sleep, we'll be back in a few hours."

Steve stretched slightly and glanced at the back of the helicopter. They had been flying for nearly an hour and he could see the sky starting to lighten on the break of dawn. Sam, Wanda and Scott were all asleep under a pile of blankets but he could tell that Clint was on edge.

"You can swap with me," Steve yawned, stepping into the back and letting Clint into the front. "If you're not going to sleep then I am."

Steve doubted he would sleep, but he'd pretend long enough for Clint to say what he needed.

Clint fell into the co-pilot chair and stretched his legs out, leaning his head back and looking over at Nat.

"You're tired."

"You sound like a broken record."

"When was the last time you slept?" Clint prodded.

"You really are starting to sound like an old man," Nat looked over with a smirk. "I'm dropping you home so you can annoy your actual children and retire properly this time."

"Laura would love to see you. And the kids," he continued.

Natasha blinked but refused to meet his eye.

"You know I can't."

"Why."

"Because it's not safe!" she hadn't meant to raise her voice and quickly glanced over her shoulder to make sure no one else had heard. She was sure Steve was still awake but he didn't move.

She sighed slightly.

"You have to retire, Clint. You've been telling me for years that that's what you wanted, and there's no better time. I'll come visit when I can, I promise."

"When did you grow up and get so sensible?" Clint asked sadly and Nat finally met his eyes.

"Well one of us had to."

Clint chuckled slightly.

"Thank you, by the way. For coming back for us," he spoke and Nat could see he was fighting sleep too. "I knew you were on my side, otherwise you would have punched me in the face at the airport."

Nat smiled.

"I was aiming for it, must have missed."

"No," Clint yawned and rested his head back again. "You never miss."

Nat sighed and checked behind her, noticing that even Steve's breathing had steadied; everyone was sleeping as they flew through the semi-darkness. Nat blinked hard and rolled out a knot in her shoulder. She couldn't remember the last time she had managed to close her eyes for more than ten minutes after spending the previous night checking every detail she could find on The Raft.

But that didn't matter right now. What did matter was that the team was safe and she only had a few hours of flying left before she could change back to Nadia Richmond, fall into the hotel bed and shut off from the world.


	2. Chapter 2

Leaving friends behind was never easy. Leaving family was nearly impossible, but they knew it had to be done.

Nat had dropped Clint off first, landing the helicopter far enough from the house so she couldn’t see Laura and the kids if they were in the yard that early. It was less painful that way.

She had warned Clint not to get emotional, given him a quick hug and told him to get lost. He had smiled and threw a hand up in a wave as he sprinted across the yard, jumping over discarded toy cars as he went.

Scott and Wanda had been next with instructions of where to find safe places if they needed. Wanda was going to find Vision and Scott was going home, but they both knew how to get in touch if things got bad.

Nat knew they’d be ok.

“I’m guessing you’re staying,” she asked Sam as they landed back at the remains of Camp Lehigh and Sam shrugged in response, looking to Steve.

“If you’ll have me,” he grinned. “Although I don’t know how much use I’ll be, I have no idea where they’re keeping my wings.”

“Leave it with me, I’m used to finding your toys,” Nat rolled her eyes. “Doubt I can get your shield back any time soon though, Cap.

Steve shrugged slightly but she could tell it bothered him. How he had lost it more than the fact it was gone.

“I’ll meet you back here with Bucky tomorrow. Same time,” Nat nodded to Steve who had agreed and watched her until she pulled the chopper back into the air.

Returning the helicopter proved to be easier than expected as no one seemed to be working that early in the morning (or no one that could be bothered to check why there was a helicopter being returned that early), and Nat emptied it of all their belongings.

The hotel was equally as oblivious to her returning, hood up and bag over her arm, and Nat was relieved that a change of name was the only cover story she needed right now. She was too tired to think up a backstory for Nadia Richmond.

The hotel bed had never looked as inviting as she slipped inside the room and locked the door but she doubted she’d spend long under the covers. She had more work to do before then.

Which included a phone call…

* * *

Tony was sat at his desk twisting a coin across his fingers and staring at the computer screen when his phone rang.

Withheld number. He ignored it until the answer machine kicked in.

“Tony, it’s Nat. If you’re there please don’t answer, it’ll only make this harder. Just let the message run to voicemail.”

Tony paused, torn between wanting to end the call and answer it. He hadn’t expected to hear from her so soon, not after the way he had spoken to her at the compound the last time they were together.

“You’ll know by now what happened. That Steve and I have been to the Raft to get the others. But you would have known that before we were even half way there. And you know why I did what I did.”

Natasha was right; Tony had been watching his computer screen since 3am after receiving a notification that the alarms had been activated at the prison. He had known instantly what was going on and who was behind it but had opted to watch the news updates flash across his screen rather than intervene. General Ross was unlikely to know at this point that Tony had connected JARVIS to The Raft’s security systems so he was alerted to any anomalies, and he planned on keeping it that way.

“Please don’t come looking for us,” Natasha continued. “We’ll see you again when the time is right. Staying together is important, Tony. It always has been. But right now we need some time to lay low. Everything has got so messed up, so confused, but please know I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.

“We need some time to work out what has to happen next. You know how to contact me in the meantime. I don’t know where I’ll be, or who I’ll be with, but if you need me you can get me. And I’ll be there.

“And Tony, please go speak to Pepper. Make amends. Who else is going to put up with you blowing up the basement every other week? You’ll be safe now, away from us. They aren’t looking for you, you signed the Accords and stuck to it. You know I’ve never been good with rules and authority.”

Tony couldn’t help but smirk slightly.

“Send Rhodes my love, and tell him I’m sorry. I’m realty, really sorry, but I promise you at the time I did what I thought was right. And I’d do it again, Tony, because I’ve been there. I’ve been where Bucky is, you know I have. I’ve had my mind torn apart and replaced with lies but we can help him. We’re a bunch of misfits but everyone deserves a second chance. I know this is hard for you, but please understand why I did what I did.

“Oh and Tony? Tell the kid he did good. Even if he does talk too much.

“I’ll see you soon. Stay safe and remember how much we’ve been through together. There are people out there trying to tear us apart, they have been for years, but we shouldn’t let them win.”

The line went dead and Tony returned to twisting the coin through his fingers.

She was right, of course. They had been through so much together over the years and there was always someone trying to break them. Trying to come between them and weaken their defenses. And each time they came back stronger. A little battered around the edges but stronger nonetheless.

He hated to admit it but she was also right about Pepper. He should call her…

“Tony, General Ross wants to speak to you,” Happy had appeared at the door with a phone in his hand and Tony paused. Maybe he did know about the security alerts after all.

“Why?”

“You know those Quinjet’s Ross has been working on? The ones that used to belong to SHIELD? Well one has just disappeared from their holding center,” Happy explained, holding out the phone.

“So why does he want to speak to me?”

“Because apparently you authorised it,” Happy raised an eyebrow.

Tony laughed.

“Romanoff, you little minx.”

Happy shook his hand slightly as if to remind Tony that he had to respond to the call.

“I think we need to go out for waffles,” Tony pushed himself to his feet and grabbed the suit jacket from the back of his chair. 

“Tony-”

“I’ll get you some too, Happy, don’t worry,” Tony placed a hand on Happy’s shoulder and nodded to the phone, indicating that he should hang up.

Happy rolled his eyes but did as instructed.

“You can’t just hang up on him every time he calls. He’s the Secretary of State.”

“I don’t,” Tony shrugged. “You do. So rude.”

“You need to call him back.”

“I will,” Tony emphasised as he headed to the door. “After waffles.”

They paused at the door and Tony turned to Happy, suddenly serious.

“There’s no harm in giving them a few hours head start, right?”

Happy smiled and pocketed the phone.

“Right,” he nodded in agreement. “But I want bacon and syrup on mine.”

* * *

Steve, Sam and Bucky arrived at the meeting point early again, standing in silence between the rubble and dust. Steve was a little surprised that it hadn’t been cleared since the missile had hit, but he decided that no one really cared about a disused army base in the middle of nowhere.

The unmistakable sound of engines above made them all look up, but it was Sam that voiced their question.

“HOW has she managed to get one of those?!”

Steve laughed as he watched the Quinjet land before making his way towards it at a run. He had learnt long ago not to question Nat’s methods.

“Come on boys, hurry up,” Nat smirked while they ran through the open back doors. They closed quickly behind them.

“Won’t SHIELD notice this is missing?” Sam asked as Nat pulled back on the controls and they started to rise again.

“SHIELD doesn’t exist,” Steve shrugged. “But someone will know it’s gone.”

“Stop worrying, I’ve sorted all that,” Nat rolled her eyes. “Honestly boys, you need to learn to trust me.”

“You know I do,” Steve smiled as he took the seat next to her. He was aware of how quiet Bucky remained and hoped he’d start to relax around Sam and Natasha soon; he was more than aware that the last time they had all been together this close there was guns involved.

But neither Natasha nor Sam showed any hostility and Steve was relieved that he had company.

“So you know where this place is?” Sam asked casually, leaning on the back of Steve’s chair.

“No, I thought we’d just fly the jet around for a few hours and hope Wakanda popped up,” Nat answered before realising Sam had missed the joke. “Yes Wilson, I know where we’re going. Your wings are back there by the way, under the seat.”

“HOW?” Sam threw his arms out in amazement and went to check, Nat shaking her head as he went.

“You really know where Wakanda is?” Steve questioned when Sam was far enough away.

“More or less,” she shrugged. “It’s surrounded by hologram protection shields but as long as we get in the right area we should be able to find it easily enough.”

Steve noticed the flashing light on the control panel indicating their destination; they had at least a couple of hours flying before they got near.

Sam checked over his wings meticulously and noticed Bucky watching. They had fought together at the airport, thrown insults at each other like old friends, and yet Sam couldn’t help but remember the reason why they were heading to Wakanda. He could tell that Bucky was a good guy and knew that Steve wouldn’t have risked everything if he didn’t trust him, but it wasn’t that long ago Bucky had ripped the steering wheel from between his hands in an attempt to kill them.

“So,” Sam drew out the word and tightened one of the straps on his wings as a distraction. It was difficult to make causal conversation with someone that had tried to put a bullet in your head. “You knew Cap before he was Cap. What was he like?”

Bucky tilted his head in Steve’s direction.

“Puny,” he smirked. “A strong gust of wind would blow him over. But apart from the obvious physical changes, he’s the same Steve Rogers I remember. We’ve known each other for what – ninety years now?”

“Something like that,” Steve had joined them in the back of the jet, taking a place next to Bucky. “Thanks for making me feel old.”

The next hour and a half passed quickly, Sam goading the other two with endless jokes and questions of how they grew up, Natasha ignoring their antics from the pilot seat.

“Come on Widow, back me up here!” Sam called over at one point. “There’s a definite bromance between these two.”

“You’re just jealous, Falcon,” she replied without looking back, a playful smile on her lips.

“I am not!”

“You haven’t seen Sam and Scott together yet,” Steve raised an eyebrow.

“The ant dude, what are you talking about? He’s a pain in the ass?”

“And you’re not?” Bucky questioned with a laugh.

“Great, even the Winter Soldier guy is giving me grief now,” Sam threw his arms up in mock annoyance and Steve couldn’t help but smile at how relaxed Bucky was becoming around them.

“He has a point,” Steve chipped in.

“Don’t take his side!”

For a few blissful minutes they seemed to forget why they were together in the first place and had relaxed into some sort of normality. Until Natasha suddenly pulled the jet upwards, jolting them all within their seats.

“Hate to break up the party boys, but we have company,” she announced, eyes glued to the engine’s computer screens. “Three single passenger aircraft, probably HYDRA. I don’t think they’re here to play nice.”

At her words the first aircraft let fire and Nat quickly rolled the jet out of the line of bullets.

“I thought we were untraceable?” Sam asked. He had jumped to his feet and pulled the wings on to his back almost instantly.

“We are, they must have been patrolling the area,” Nat frowned. “Ross has taken nearly all the Quinjets so they’ll know we’re not HYDRA. And anyone who’s not with them are against them.”

“I suppose that’s what happens when you break into an unbreakable prison,” Steve said as he grabbed the gun from his pocket. There was a little part of him that was glad Nat had handed it to him the night before. “Word spreads quickly. You don’t think Ross has sent them?”

“No,” Nat shook her head. “He wants us locked up, not dead.”

“Can you lose them?” Sam questioned.

“Again with the stupid questions,” Nat laughed, her hands moving expertly across the control panels as she jet fired back. Steve watched as two of the aircraft fell from the sky, the third narrowly pulling aside at the last second.

“How far away are we?”

“Not far!” Nat frowned, pulling the jet upwards and shouting instructions at Steve. The third aircraft was hit square on and spiraled to the ground, exploding on impact.

“Well, that was fun,” Natasha grinned, looking over her shoulder at Sam and Bucky who were still gripping tightly to the bars of the jet.

“Next time you do something like that, could you warn us first?” Sam asked, smirking. “So we could maybe buckle up.”

Nat laughed again and steadied out the jet until they were cruising just below the clouds.

Steve settled back into the passenger seat and watched as Sam punched Bucky playfully on the arm and sat down beside him, just as he had seen him do countless times before at support meetings. He had known years ago when he had first met Sam that he was a good guy, but right now he was more than thankful that he had volunteered to join them on – whatever it was they were doing.

James Buchanan Barnes was his best friend, and yet he knew how much help he needed to get him back. Bucky was broken; he has been torn apart and stuffed back together to create a weapon, and now all that was left were the remains of the killer and his friend, both constantly fighting to take control.

If Steve could have chosen two people from anybody he had ever met in his life to help them get to Wakanda he would have chosen the two currently sat in the Quinjet with him at this very moment.

Steve heard Nat swear under her breath. “Sam, you know that warning you were wanting? You better buckle up!”

Glancing out of the window Steve could see at least twenty aircraft come into view, surrounding them on all sides. All single passenger aircraft and all fully equipped with enough gunfire to bring them down. He’d had a feeling it had all been going too smoothly.

“Now what?” Bucky asked cautiously.

“Now you hold on!” Nat repeated, pulling the jet into a dive and skirting under the aircraft in front of them before they had time to react. “And maybe find a gun or two.”

“Where are they all coming from?”

“I think HYDRA might know where we are,” Nat answered, pulling the jet to the left. “And more importantly, who we have with us.”

Steve looked over at Bucky.

“If they get a hold of him-”

“They won’t, Steve,” Nat said seriously, catching his eye. “We’ve fought against aliens, Ultron’s mechanical army and even each other. This’ll be a walk in the park.”

“Of course it will!” Sam had overheard and was now holding on tightly to the roof of the jet. “A park that’s on fire and full of monsters trying to kill you!”

“Stop being so dramatic,” Nat rolled her eyes. “You missed out on the aliens and machines, you don’t know the difference.”

Sam shrugged and nodded slightly.

“Fair point.”

They swerved again, the jet blasting three more aircraft from the sky before there was a loud thud from behind and the jet jolted forwards abruptly.

“We’re going down!” Nat shouted as she fought to keep the jet level. “Kit up, boys!”

Nat could see a mass of trees below them and pulled the jet towards a small clearing just visible through the leaves. They landed hard, the nose of the jet digging into the forest ground until they skidded to a halt, the wing of the jet snapping off and spinning them around.

There was an eerie silence.

“Everyone alright?” Steve asked and heard a murmur of ‘yes’ from the other three.

“Ouch,” Nat groaned, pushing the steering column away and grabbing a gun from her belt. “How many times am I going to crash land one of these things?”

“You’re a jinx, Nat,” Sam chuckled as he tightened the straps of his wings. “You could have warned us of your crash record before we got in the jet.”

“You can fly it next time, then. I prefer hand to hand anyway,” Nat shrugged. “It’s much more fun.”

“There’s something wrong with you, you know that?” Sam chuckled.

“Don’t pretend you don’t enjoy it as much as me,” Nat smirked as she threw a gun to Bucky. “Come on Soldier, I didn’t let you escape just to sit around and watch. I know how good you are in a fight. Just glad I’m fighting with you this time.”

“I’m not a soldier any more,” Bucky mumbled as he weighed up the gun in his hand. Despite where it had come from, he felt lost without his metal arm.

“You can still fight like one.”

Nat smiled at him warmly as she passed, taking a breath and hitting the door release before she could change her mind.

“We stick together,” Steve stated as the doors opened. “We protect each other. We’re close enough to get to Wakanda on foot so we head North until we’re through the shields, but only once we know we’re not being followed. We can’t bring any threat into Wakanda with us.”

The first aircraft came into view and Sam unfolded his metal wings with a grin.

“Agreed. I’ll bring them down then you can do what you like with them,” Sam kicked off and shot into the sky, Nat quick behind him on foot.

“You don’t need to do this, Buck. You can stay here,” Steve nodded over his shoulder and glancing at Bucky’s arm. Or lack of. “We’ve got this.”

“I can still shoot,” Bucky stated and Steve nodded, grabbing a section of the jet wing that had broken off on impact and throwing it in front of him like he had done with his shield.

“I know you can,” Steve headed into the clearing at a run, leaving Bucky stood at the door watching as the first rain of bullets hit the ground in front of him. He’d tucked the gun into his back pocket without even thinking.


	3. Chapter 3

If it was difficult fighting against the aircraft when they were so outnumbered in the sky it felt nearly impossible on the ground. Sam had managed to bring down three, each of the pilots ejecting from the cockpit before the plane landed. There were now HYDRA agents on the ground, appearing from all directions with weapons in hand. 

“Since when did HYDRA have so many men?” Sam called. “I thought you said they had been wiped out when you brought down SHIELD?” 

He flew past Natasha and Steve and back into the sky.

“Looks like they’ve been recruiting.”

Natasha looked through the trees and could see another four aircraft appear from between the hills. There was a sudden tirade of bullets that seemed to come from all directions and she was on the ground, scrambling for cover.

There was the unmistakable sound of metal hitting the ground and she breathed a sign of relief knowing the bullets would stop. That he was there to protect her once again.

“Thanks,” Nat smiled as Steve crouched in front of her, makeshift jet wing shield in front of them.

She spun around and shot down two more, watching them topple to the ground in perfect unison.

Bucky was still frozen at the jet entrance.

“Come on Barnes, you’re missing out on all the fun!” Nat called over, noticing the look of concern from Steve.

Sam swooped past, his metal wings catching the sunlight as he threw out a foot and sent another plane that had been nose-diving hurtling to the ground.

Bucky seemed to shake himself and stepped from the jet, his hand finding the gun that had been tucked into his back pocket.

“Steve,” Nat nodded her head and Steve spun instantly, throwing out his arm and knocking an agent to the ground as he lifted his own arm, a long metal blade tightly in his grasp.

Sam reappeared from between the trees and landed in front of them.

“Eh, Cap. I think they’ve borrowed some of that alien tech!” he stated as he held up a gun he had taken from one of the pilots that had just crash landed. “This is no ordinary weapon.”

“What does it do?” Nat called as she flipped another pilot over her shoulder before he had the chance to shoot. She shot him with a Widow Bite without even blinking, striding over to Sam.

He shrugged, just as a new aircraft came into view.

“Lets find out!”

Sam pointed the gun at the aircraft and pulled the trigger, a thin blast of light shooting from the end and through the metal of the plane above them. It plummeted to the ground within seconds, exploding on impact.

“That’s what it does,” Sam grinned then threw the weapon to Bucky. “Here, you play with this while I’m busy.”

Sam kicked back into the sky and directly towards a new target.

“Tired yet?” Nat called to Steve with a grin.

“Ah you know me Nat,” he paused, raising an eyebrow.

“I could do this all day!” Sam finished as he shot past.

“You stole my line!”

They laughed and Sam turned, just for a second. It was then that the aircraft just above him twisted, it’s wing slamming into Sam and knocking him from the sky.

He fell hard, crashing into a tree and toppling to the ground where he remained motionless.

“Sam!”

Nat was by his side in seconds, shaking his shoulders and hitting him on the cheeks.

“Wake up, damn it!”

She hit him harder but he didn’t stir.

“He’s out cold!” She shouted to Steve who had narrowly avoided a stray bullet as he threw his arm above his head, the bullets ricocheting off the jet wing. “And I’ve lost my gun,” Nat muttered to herself with a roll of her eyes. Rooky mistake.

“I’ve got this!” Bucky shouted to Steve noticing the worried look from Natasha. He jumped over a burning jet tail and sprinted towards them as the gunfire returned in their direction, watching as Natasha instinctively threw herself on top of Sam in an attempt to shield him.

Bucky held up his gun and froze, a sudden memory tugging at his mind. Of Natasha Romanoff throwing herself on top of her engineer as he stood above her, gun in hand, pointed in her direction. Before he’d shot her without a seconds thought.

He blinked hard as a bullet landed inches from his foot and Bucky pulled himself back to reality, pointing the alien gun to the sky and shooting down the aircraft with ease. It glided overhead and landed behind them in a ball of flames.

“Thanks!” Nat called, shaking Sam again who groaned and pushed himself to a sitting position.

“Romanoff? What happened? Who shot me down?”

“Bad guys,” she stated. “Come on. On your feet before they’re back.”

Bucky appeared at their side and pulled Sam up, holding on to his shoulder until he steadied himself.

Sam frowned and rubbed his cheek.

“Did you hit me?”

“Maybe,” Nat smiled. “How’d you know it was me?”

“Because only you would punch that hard.”

She laughed before turning serious.

“Stay down, Sam. No more wings.”

Sam rolled his eyes but seemed to agree and nodded quickly. Steve had reappeared and handed Nat the gun she had given him the day before, still unused.

“If they’re shooting at you they’re bad, remember?” he spoke to Sam.

“Yeah yeah, thanks for the reminder,” Sam grinned as he ran back into the line of fire.

* * *

Bucky could feel his heart hammering in his chest and took a breath, focusing on a tree in front of him. The world was exploding around him but he had to stay in the present, even with his brain fighting to return to the past. To memories he couldn’t trust. The more he tried to focus, tried to remember which memories had been implanted in his mind, the more his head felt like it would explode.

Did he remember dancing with the pretty blonde to the sound of the brass band? What about picking Steve up from the alley after he’d started a fight with a guy twice his side? Was it him that had strangled a doctor with his cold, metal arm? Or shot civilians at point blank range because they were in his way. 

The more he shook his head, trying to rid himself of the memories, the quicker he could feel his heart racing. He had to focus. He couldn’t lose it now, not here.

There was a blast behind him and Bucky jumped, his hand tightening on the unfamiliar weapon in his hand. His mind screamed, his vision blurred. He couldn’t work out where he was or who he was with, only that there were gun shots hitting off the hard ground beside him and he had to fight back. He just didn’t know how.

“Bucky, look out!”

He forced his eyes open and saw her stood in front of him, her gun pointed in his direction. He heard the shriek of her bullet as it shot past his ear and hit the HYDRA operative that was stood behind him square in the head, seconds before he had the chance to run the blade in his hand through Bucky’s chest.

And at the same time Bucky spun on the spot, arm shooting out instinctively. His finger pulled the trigger before he’d realised, the ricochet that pulsed through his arm now a natural reaction.

A split second. That’s all it took for him to know the bullet had hit its target. The target he hadn’t aimed for. The target his hand had gravitated to without him knowing. He was pulled suddenly back to reality and all he could do was watch.

Her sudden gasp for air was audible even over the chaos as her eyes widened in shock.

Natasha froze, arm still outstretched with her own gun pointing in front of her. Before it fell to the ground as her grip on the handle loosened and she crumpled to her knees, her hand instantly finding her ribs as she steadied herself.

“Nat?”

Steve had noticed. Bucky could see the look in his eyes, the worry suddenly evident even in the way he positioned himself.

But she didn’t answer and Steve could see her shoulders slump as she gasped for air.

“Sam?”

“On it!”

Sam slid seemingly out of nowhere and knelt down beside Natasha, using his wings as a shield to protect them both from a new tirade of bullets.

Steve threw the heavy door in the direction of the aircraft and watched as it made contact, the explosion almost instantaneous.

And then there was silence.

Sam unfolded his wings from around Nat and caught her as she slumped to the side, lying her flat and pressing his hand to the gushing wound just under her ribs.

“Nat, stay with me ok. Don’t close your eyes. Cap?”

He looked at Steve expecting confirmation of what to do next but was met with a look of blank panic.

Steve shook his head slightly and knelt down beside them, pushing Nat’s hair from her face. Her abdomen was covered in blood already despite Sam trying to stem the flow. He could see her hands shaking as she balled her hands into loose fists and took one in his own noticing how cold it was.

“We need to get to Wakanda,” Steve stuttered. “Now.”

Sam looked around desperately.

“Which is where?”

Nat coughed and Steve lent over her as she fought to keep her eyes open.

“Three for three Buck, can’t you miss for once?” she mumbled with a laugh, but the breath caught in her throat and she squeezed her eyes closed trying to push away the pain, her body tensing as she gasped for air.

“Nat? Nat don’t close your eyes ok?”

“I- I didn’t mean to- I’m sorry,” Bucky stuttered, the gun lying at his feet.

“Not now, Bucky,” Steve shook his head.

Nat coughed again and Steve noticed the small trickle of blood coat her lips.

“Steve, we don’t have time,” Sam whispered, his hand still clamped to the wound under Natasha’s ribs, the blood seeping through his fingers. “She won’t make it that far.”

“You need to get her to my sister.”

The voice seemed to come from nowhere and yet the sound jolted a flicker of hope in Steve’s mind.

“T’Challa?”

He had appeared through the trees and wore an expression of concern.

“Where were you five minutes ago?” Sam questioned, his eyes avoiding the sticky blood that coated his hands.

“You think those jets were the only ones?” T’Challa asked. “My tribe have taken down many more before they got this far. Someone really wants to stop you four.”

He had crossed the clearing and knelt beside them in seconds, his eyes quickly scanning the scene in front of him and landing on the weapon at Bucky’s feet.

“You can help her, right? You can save her?” Sam asked desperately.

T’Challa ran his fingers along the kimoyo beads around his wrist but knew it was pointless. He had nothing that could help. This wasn’t a normal bullet wound.

“Not here. Not this kind of injury. But my sister might.”

“Might!” Sam’s voice wobbled.

Steve ran his thumb across Nat’s cheek, wiping away the blood. Each shallow breath caught in her throat as she shivered in pain.

“Come on, stay with us,” he whispered but her eyes flickered shut, her head falling into his hand. “No, Nat! Don’t do this, not now.”

T’Challa selected another bead and a hologram of Shuri appeared in his hand.

“What is it brother, I’m a little busy?” she raised an eyebrow.

“Are you in your lab?”

“Of course.”

“I need your help. Now,” T’Challa glanced to the side and caught Sam’s attention.

“Can you still fly?”

“Yeah,” Sam nodded. “The wings are working fine.”

“They’ll be there in the next few minutes, expect them by air,” T’Challa instructed.

“Are you sending me another American?” Shuri almost sounded excited and he gave her a look that warned her to calm down.

“These ones are friends.”

Bucky had frozen again, his eyes wide as he watched the blood pooling around Nat, Sam’s hand never leaving the wound. A sudden thought flashed across his consciousness and he blinked hard, trying to push it away. But it kept fighting and he couldn’t work out if it was a memory or a form of living nightmare.

He could see her, almost as she was now. Lying in the sand, her hands covered in blood to stop the flow gushing from her abdomen.

And he was stood above her, gun in hand. Warm and smoking just seconds after pulling the trigger.

But he had shot the engineer through her. There wasn’t just one bullet wound. Like now. But this was a hell of a lot worse. Bucky tried to form the words to tell Steve that she was bleeding out despite Sam’s best efforts but they wouldn’t form in his mouth.

Steve reluctantly removed his hand from Nat’s and pulled T’Challa aside.

“Be honest,” he swallowed. “Can your sister help her?”

He looked over his shoulder again.

“I don’t know.”

Steve noticed Sam’s hand on Natasha’s wrist and the look in his eyes.

“Is she-“

He couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence. ‘Is the alive?’ ‘Is she breathing?’ ‘Are we too late?’ He didn’t know which one he would have asked if the lump in his throat hadn’t stopped the words from escaping, but the slight shake of Sam’s head made him feel sick.

Sam scooped Natasha into his arms and pulled her in close, unfolding his wings again.

“Head North,” T’Challa instructed. “Keep flying and you’ll get through the shields. My sister will be waiting in the tower, you can’t miss it.”

“Gotcha,” Sam nodded to Steve, an expression on his face he couldn’t quite place, and then he was gone.

Steve stared at the blood soaked ground and swallowed hard, turning away and burying his face in his hands.

* * *

Sam flew without looking down, feeling his eyes sting slightly as he picked up speed. The sense of relief was overwhelming when there was a sudden shift in pressure and he passed through the hologram shields, Wakanda appearing in front of him.

He didn’t have time to take in his surroundings as he headed straight for the highest tower, landing hard on the open balcony with his knees buckling slightly. Shuri was waiting and Sam could see the look of worry that flickered across her face as they came into view.

“My brother has sent me a challenge this time,” she raised an eyebrow as a welcome. “Follow me, quickly.”

Sam did as instructed ignoring the aching in his arms as he held Nat close to his chest, her arm hanging limply and the blood already starting to drip to the floor.

“Lay her here,” Shuri pointed to a metal table that resembled a hospital bed, surrounded by lights and machinery. “Then wait outside. You won’t want to be in here.”

“Please-“ Sam started but felt the words catch in his throat as he lay an unconscious Natasha on the bed in front of him.

“Out!”

“But-“

“My lab, my rules American. I’ll let you know when you can come back in.”

He was hurried out the door to three women who had been waiting in the corridor. He couldn’t remember if he had passed them on the way in. His arms felt suddenly empty. His fingertips tingled as the feeling began to return and looking down he suddenly realised how much blood coated his suit.

So much blood.

She was so cold.

They were too late.

“We need to check you over,” one of the women stated placing a hand on Sam’s shoulder.

“No, I’m fine,” Sam shrugged her off.

“That wasn’t a question,” she said sternly, taking him by the arm and directing him to a separate medical station.

Sam let his feet follow and the tear finally roll down his cheek.


	4. Chapter 4

They walked in silence through the forest, T’Challa guiding the way. Steve remained a step behind Bucky and tried to focus on putting one foot in front of the other only.

He couldn’t let him mind wander because then he’d fall apart. Every time he blinked all he could see was the dark red blood and the sick feeling in his stomach returned.

Natasha never complained. He had seen her injured before, had watched her tape up broken ribs when she thought no one was watching and seen her flinch during a sparring session after a recent mission. She didn’t heal fast like he did and yet she never shied away from a challenge, regardless of the fight.

“You’re not made of steel,” he’d reminded her one day as she covered a bruise on her collarbone with make up, the angry abrasion still visible under her tank top.

“No,” she had agreed with a smirk. “I’m made of marble.”

Even when the missile hit Camp Lehigh and he had carried her unconscious from the rubble he had seen how determined she was. She had come round just as they left the camp premises and he had sat her down to check her over properly.

It had only taken a few minutes for her to roll out her stiff muscles and joke that the guy who they’d ‘borrowed’ the car from was going to be pissed off when he found out it had been blown up. He had watched her wobble on her feet for just a second before hiding any sign that she was in pain and look at him determinedly.

That’s when they had first gone to Sam for help. For safety. Where he had first caught a glimpse of the vulnerable Natasha as she dried her hair in Sam’s spare room. It was then that Steve realised that what Nat was most afraid of wasn’t being injured; she could handle the physical pain. It was the red in her ledger. It was how people perceived the Black Widow who was desperately trying to make amends for her past, even though she was still seen as an emotionless killer. A spy.

But she was so much more than that and had quickly become one of Steve’s best friends. She was the one who had helped him bring down the helicarriers and had comforted him at Peggy’s funeral. It was Natasha that had helped him escape with Bucky, knowing her freedom would walk away with them.

She was the feistiest person he had ever met and the last person he wanted to get on the wrong side of. She could persuade him to do almost anything. Break into SHIELD. Steal a car. Kiss her on the escalator…

“I’m so sorry,” Bucky stuttered and Steve shook himself back to reality.

There was part of him that wanted to tell Bucky that everything was ok and that he had nothing to be sorry for. And at the same time, he wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, scream at him for what he had done. What he had taken from him.

He shook his head again to rid himself of the thought that she was gone and focused again on putting one foot in front of the other. T’Challa had called ahead and instructed that his tribe clear the mess they had just become a part of before it was noticed; they didn’t want to attract anyone else so close to the borders of Wakanda.

“What happened back there?” Steve asked instead, watching as T’Challa disappeared further into the distance.

“I don’t know,” Bucky shook his head. “I remembered something, I think. But I don’t know if I made it up in my head or if it was real.”

“Well, that’s why we’re here,” Steve stated.

There was a pause.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” Bucky spoke again, his eyes not meeting Steve’s. “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. She was there and my head was- She was-”

“I’ve seen her fight many times and she always gives her all,” Steve sighed. “There’s no holding back with Nat - save the civilians and give the bad guys hell. This isn’t the first time she’s been injured in combat.“

Steve pauses again and could feel Bucky tense.

“No,” he spoke quietly. “I’ve shot her before. On the bridge. I remember, it was the day we first met. Again, I mean. I shot her-“

“Bucky, please stop. None of this is your fault. This is why we’re here, to get you help.”

But Bucky had stopped walking. Steve did too, aware that T’Challa was barely within their eyesight.

“Buck-?”

“Three for three.”

“What are you-?”

“That’s what she said to me. Just now. Three for three, don’t you ever miss?” Bucky’s eyes had grown wide and Steve stood in front of him, a hand on his shoulder. “When else have I shot her? When did I hurt her before that day on the bridge?”

“I don’t know, Buck. It was a long time ago. She’s forgiven you, she knows you had been brainwashed.“

“I do remember though, Steve. I remember shooting her as she covered the engineer. I remembered just before-” Bucky swallowed hard. “I could have killed her that day. I tried to kill her, and even though I’d just shot her she fought back.”

He clenched his hand and looked at Steve seriously.

“But not today. She didn’t fight back today, because I- I-”

“Stop it,” Steve repeated.

“How many times am I going to hurt people? How many people have I already shot? Killed? You should just kill me now before I can do any more damage! I took her life so you take mine!”

“No!”

“There will be no need to kill anyone,” T’Challa spoke evenly, instantly releasing the tension between them. Neither Steve or Bucky had noticed him turn back. “And blaming yourself isn’t going to help anyone either.”

He looked over his shoulder and nodded ahead.

“We’re here.”

* * *

Steve numbly followed T’Challa across the Wakandan fields and up the staircase towards his sister’s lab. Nothing made sense, as if the world had tilted on its axis and thrown him into a different dimension, his surroundings strange and unfamiliar.

Everything in Wakanda seemed to shimmer and blink and Steve wanted nothing more than to squeeze his eyes shut and run from everything in front of him.

T’Challa stopped outside the lab and it was then that Steve noticed Sam stood outside it’s door, his hands clasped together tightly.

“You ok?” Steve asked with a tilt of his head, the sick feeling returning to his stomach as his eyes fell on the blood soaking Sam’s suit.

“Yeah, it’s not mine,” Sam responded with a shrug then looked away quickly before continuing. “I’ve been checked over. Mild concussion but nothing serious. Okoye threatened to confiscate the wings if I tried to use them before tomorrow and I don’t think I want to argue with her.”

“Have you been in yet?” Steve forced himself to look through the window but all he could see were lights flashing and four women crowded around the one bed.

“No,” Sam shook his head. “Shuri said she’d let us know when we can go in.”

“But she’s-?” he still couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence.

“I don’t know,” was all that Sam could mumble back, his words catching slightly.

T’Challa cleared his throat.

“You can wait out here until my sister is ready,” he said but Bucky shook his head.

“No,” he stuttered. “Can we talk now? I don’t trust myself. I can’t be trusted, we need to talk now.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Steve tried to reason but Bucky shook his head again.

“I do,” he frowned seriously. “I do, Steve.”

Bucky turned to T’Challa and swallowed hard.

“Is she going to be ok?” his voice shook slightly.

“My sister is good, she’ll do all she can,” T’Challa smiled. “But she’s alive. And we can talk, follow me.”

Steve made to follow but Bucky stopped him.

“You can stay here.”

“I’m with you, Buck,” Steve said sadly. “She’ll understand.”

Sam tilted his head in acknowledgement and nodded slightly.

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay.”

Steve and Bucky followed T’Challa through the winding corridors and into a bright, warm room where Bucky and Steve collapsed into the nearest sofa.

“We’ll talk more in the lab when Shuri is ready,” T’Challa instructed, careful not to linger on the subject too long. “But until then, lets start at the beginning shall we?”

* * *

Sam Wilson didn’t consider himself a hero. Never had done, no matter how many times he put on the wings.

There was a time, not that long ago, where he thought he’d left that life behind for good. He was just getting used to being grounded when a beaten up Steve and Natasha had turned up on his doorstep.

“Everyone we know is trying to kill us.”

He’d had to shake himself slightly to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. There were two Avengers stood at his door asking for his help.

Sam knew that he was still seen as a newbie at the compound but that didn’t bother him. Steve and Natasha had trusted him immediately yet Tony was a little more difficult to convince. When the arguments had started around the Accords, long before their meeting at the airport, there was no question that Sam would be by Steve’s side as they fought for what they believed in.

He would never admit it to anyone but he’d somehow known that Natasha had been playing both sides from the beginning. Not intentionally, but she just didn’t seem the kind of person to ever take anyone’s side but her own. She was too clever for that. She could see the bigger picture when no one else could.

She’d proved him right of course when she had let Steve and Bucky escape the airport despite knowing the repercussions.

And now he was stood outside the lab watching as the woman inside fought to keep her alive. He hadn’t known Natasha for long but he had worked out very quickly that she was a fighter. He had sat by her in the back of a van, bleeding out from a gunshot wound to the shoulder, and her priority had still been Steve.

She was strong. Fearless. She had stopped him from falling through an open helicopter door only hours after being shot and had barely winced, her mind securely on the job at hand.

She was loyal to a fault, despite what some people might think. 

“Any news?”

Steve had appeared behind him and it was then that he realised he’d zoned out as stared absentmindedly through the window into the lab.

He shook his head slowly.

“There’s only two of them in there now though,” he shrugged. “That has to be a good sign, right?”

It was Steve’s turn to nod.

“How’s Bucky?”

“Still speaking to T’Challa,” Steve explained. “He’s tired, but he’s doing ok.”

One of the women that had been helping Shuri appeared at the door to the lab and smiled as she left.

“You can come in now,” Shuri had followed her. “But touch anything and I’m throwing you out again.”

“You go,” Sam addressed Steve and tilted his head to the door. “I’ll be in soon.”

Steve didn’t argue. He could see Sam was struggling and the blood that covered the front of his suit wouldn’t be helping any.

His stomach churned as he followed Shuri inside the lab and towards the unconscious redhead he had spent too many nights worrying about. Not that he would ever admit that to her.

It wasn’t like a hospital bed he had ever seen before but he could tell by the instruments that beeped and whirred that it was as good as one. Better even. Nat had been changed into a pair of grey joggers and a loose white t-shirt that had been pulled up to expose her abdomen. She was lying on her side with what looked like a thin blue laser hovering above her bare skin.

Even though her blood soaked suit had been changed the bullet wound, if you could still call it that, looked even worse under the bright lights. It was at least two inches wide and Steve had to look away before he punched something in frustration; even a normal gun would have caused too much damage, but this was something else.

Dark blood still coated her pale skin and yet he couldn’t help but watch the steady rise and fall of her chest as the machinery worked away above her. He let out a sigh of relief that pained his chest.

“You saved her,” the words escaped his lips before he had realised and Shuri giggled behind him.

“Of course we did.”

She had as good as died in the forest. He knew that when Sam had flown away her heart was no longer beating, and yet Shuri seemed to shrug as if this was just any other day. ‘Give me a real challenge next time’ almost etched across her features.

“Thank you.”

The words weren’t enough and yet they were all he could manage.

Shuri nodded in acknowledgment and moved to check Nat’s vitals. The only sign that she wasn’t simply sleeping, other than the laser beam moving across her skin and seemingly sewing together the internal damage that had been done, was a single tube that ran to her arm connected to a blood pack.

“It was a bit of a mess,” Shuri explained as she noticed Steve’s eyes fixed on a screen that showed Nat’s steady heartbeat. “The bullet, or whatever that thing was, did a fair bit of damage. Kidney, liver, some pretty vital arteries. I’m surprised she made it long enough for my brother to find you. But we’ve managed to stop the major bleeds and repair one side of the wound, so the risk of any more blood loss has dropped.”

“And now?” Steve asked quickly, not wanting to think about how close they had come to losing her.

“She’ll be ok,” she shrugged, nodding to the glowing machinery. “Her heart was re-started fairly quickly so I doubt there’ll be any lasting damage, but she’ll be tired for a few days. Achy. This new technology is great at fixing the problems you can’t normally see but it can’t take away the pain caused by being shot. She’s sedated for now so she shouldn’t feel the worst of it, but there’s a lot still to repair.”

She raised an eyebrow at Steve.

“You know how this happened?”

“I do.”

Steve dropped his head. The last thing he wanted to do was try to explain what had happened after the Quinjet had come down.

“I also know why you were on your way here in the first place,” she smiled and Steve knew she wasn’t looking for an explanation. “We’ll fix him too.”

Steve nodded slowly.

Sam had appeared behind them and had heard most of the conversation.

“So, how long before she’s awake?” he asked hesitantly.

“When the sedation wears off,” Shuri shrugged. “So at least a couple of hours yet. She’s been through a lot.”

It was only then that Steve noticed the clear, thin film that hovered above Nat’s head providing a constant supply of oxygen and anesthetic without the need for extra wires and machinery.

“How did we end up here?” Sam asked no one in particular and Steve could do nothing but shake his head.

“I don’t know,” he sighed.

They fell into a comfortable silence, the only sound coming from the mechanical whirring of the blue laser that moved across Nat’s skin

T’Challa entered the lab and smirked at the sight of Sam and Steve stood beside Natasha. Shuri usually kicked anyone out of her lab within five minutes with the excuse that they were in the way. He glanced at the data displayed on the screen above them and was relieved to see the steady heartbeat pulsing across the display as well as the large number in the bottom left corner.

“34%, not bad sister,” T’Challa smirked as he joined Shuri across the room in front of her computer.

“Not bad? Is that the best I get?” she feigned hurt.

“Well what did she start at?”

“Zero!” Shuri emphasised and T’Challa could tell she was holding back the ‘duh’.

“Ok, after you restarted her heart,” he clarified. “What percentage then?”

Shuri smirked.

“Two.”

“Two!” T’Challa’s eyes widened. “Two percent? And now she’s at 34?”

“Yep,” Shuri grinned. “Go on, admit it. You’re impressed with my new tech.”

“I’m impressed with you,” he smiled with a twitch of his eyerows. 

“What does the percentage mean?” Steve asked and Shuri and T’Challa jumped slightly at his reappearance. He glanced back at the screen. “34%, is that good?”

“It’s heading in the right direction,” Shuri smiled. “That’s all you need to know.”

“But you said it started at zero,” Steve continued then shrugged. “Super serum, I listened in.”

Shuri rolled her eyes.

“All you need to know is that she’s getting better, her wounds are healing.”

“But if that number doesn’t get to 100%?”

“Captain,” T’Challa spoke up and Steve looked away almost embarrassed.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “It’s just- I thought we’d lost her.”

“I know,” T’Challa nodded slowly then sighed. “The percentage is how likely she is to make a full recovery based on her current injuries. So the higher the percentage…”

He shrugged and Steve nodded in understanding, that feeling returning to his stomach yet again at the thought she had started at zero. They had lost her, momentarily, but now he was slowly watching her return in front of him.

“Don’t tell Sam,” Steve looked over his shoulder. He knew that if Sam understood some of the data on the screen he wouldn’t stop focusing on it and right now that was the last thing he needed.

“I need to go again,” T’Challa spoke mainly to Shuri. “But I’ll check on Bucky when I come back. He’s resting for now.”

He glanced at the monitor again and smiled.

“Stay as long as you need.”

Steve nodded and knew he didn’t just mean in the lab. They had somewhere to stay as long as they needed.

“Thank you,” was all he could manage as T’Challa left, not knowing how to put into words how grateful he was in that moment.

T’Challa had been gone only minutes before the monitor above Nat began to flash and they all turned instantly, crossing the room in seconds.

“What’s wrong?” Sam questioned but Shuri was too busy checking the machinery that surrounded the bed to answer.

Natasha’s eyebrows furrowed slightly as if she was in pain and Shuri frowned.

“She shouldn’t be waking up yet,” she hurried back to her computer but Steve had noticed the change in Nat’s breathing. It was quicker, panicked, as her hand twitched and eyelashes fluttered.

“Nat?” Steve said gently as he took hold of her hand and she slowly blinked open her eyes. “Nat, it’s me. Can you hear me?”

But he could tell she was already in fight mode, her body tense and shaking.

She made to move but Steve was quicker, his hand finding her shoulder and holding her still.

“Nat, you need to stay still. Please listen to me.”

She blinked, shaking, as Sam appeared from the other side of the bed and placed his own hands on her legs.

“Nat!”

It was louder than he had expected and far more forceful, but it seemed to do the trick as she paused, her breathing still rapid.

He nodded to Sam who moved his hands so they were resting gently on her shoulder and hip, keeping her still as Steve crouched beside her.

“Nat, you’re ok. But you need to stay still. Please.”

Her eyes found his and he could see the tears threatening to spill over. She nodded slowly. Shuri was busily working at the nearby machinery and sighed slightly.

“I think I can increase the anesthetic until we’re complete,” she stated.

“No!” Nat mumbled, making to move again and groaning in pain. She squeezed Steve’s hand tight and her eyes scrunched closed, but he knew that she was too stubborn to argue with.

“It’s ok,” he nodded to Shuri.

“This will be agonising without it,” she rolled her eyes. “That machine is sewing together the internal damage before she suffers any more blood loss. It has a few hours left and it won’t be comfortable.”

Steve paused and looked down at Natasha who was staring straight ahead, her breathing starting to steady. He could tell she was in pain but knew better than to argue.

“Nat?”

She shook her head slightly and Shuri huffed in annoyance.

“My brother said you lot were stubborn. Fine, but my bet is she passes out within the next ten minutes.”

Shuri rolled her eyes again and walked away, busing herself with a computer screen. Steve could see her look over her shoulder and frown.

“Obviously doesn’t know our Nat then, does she?” Steve smirked and Sam mimicked his actions.

“My thoughts exactly,” Sam laughed before adding “How’s our super-human assassin doing over there?”

He had removed his hands and made his way round to stand by Steve.

Nat mumbled in response, her eyes squeezed shut.

“Still don’t fancy that knock out gas?” Sam asked playfully.

“No,” she groaned and Sam chuckled.

“Wow, and I thought Steve was bad.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Sam smirked but Steve just smiled in return. If there was one thing Sam was good at it was defusing the tension in the room.

Shuri came back a few minutes later, frown still on her features, and dropped two small chairs in front of them both.

“If you’re going to stay you may as well sit down.”

“Thanks,” they responded in unison and took a seat each, Steve’s hand not moving from within Nat’s who still held on tight, the pressure increasing as the machinery moved across her skin.

The dry blood that coated her abdomen still made him feel sick, and there was still a smear evident across her pale lips.

There was a comfortable silence before Nat’s eyes fluttered and found Steve’s.

“Bucky?” She asked, her voice cracked and strained. “Where is he?”

“He’s safe,” Steve explained. “He’s talking to T’Challa and Okoye. They have the technology to put him back in cyro-sleep stasis until they can find a way to fix him. Bucky has all but insisted that this is the safest way.”

Steve had wanted to argue when Bucky had suggested being frozen again, and had wanted to punch something when T’Challa agreed, but he knew they were right. Bucky didn’t trust himself with the lies that were in his head and he knew it wasn’t fair for him to live through the nightmares any longer.

“It wasn’t his fault, he-” Nat frowned, a sudden intake of breath disrupting her sentence as her eyes flew shut again and she squeezed Steve’s hand tighter.

“I know,” Steve soothed, running his thumb along the back of her hand. “We all do, apart from Bucky.”

“I need to go see him.”

“You’re not going anywhere right now,” Sam laughed incredulously.

Nat muttered something under her breath and Sam smirked.

“I still heard that.”

Steve watched as her eyes fluttered closed again and he glanced back at the monitor. 43%. He could feel his own heart hammering in his chest and wished he didn’t understand the numbers either. Nearly half way there and yet the uneasy feeling wouldn’t pass. He knew how much pain she was in and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“You two should rest too,” Shuri removed the needle from Nat’s arm and pressed a small swap to the spot of blood that escaped, nodding towards her with a smirk. “I mean I’d hate to say I told you so twice but she lasted less than twelve minutes before passing out so-”

She drew out the last word and Sam laughed.

“Thanks,” he yawned. “But we’re not tired. We’ll wait here for a bit.”

Shuri raised an eyebrow and busied herself at the machinery by Nat’s bed. She wasn’t at all surprised when both men slowly sunk further into their chairs and closed their own eyes, finally succumbing to exhaustion. Shuri gathered three thick blankets and placed them on a table beside them.

“I told you so,” she muttered with a grin, dimming the lights in the lab and leaving them all to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Natasha woke again to the sight of Sam and Steve sat in a chair each by her bedside, their heads leaning in towards each other as they slept. She smirked slightly, wishing she had her phone to take a picture, and then remembered where she was.

She looked around and noticed they were the only ones in the room. The laser that had previously been whirring above her body had stopped and she tentatively ran a hand along her abdomen. The skin was warm and a little rough, but there were no bullet wounds.

Nat rolled on to her back and almost shouted as the pain shot through her body. She closed her eyes tight and balled her hands into fists until it subsided. There was a small bruise on the inside of her arm and she noticed the air above her seemed a little thicker somehow, but there was nothing connecting her to the bed.

She could move freely. If she could actually force herself to sit up.

Natasha took a deep breath and blinked hard. She was a spy; she was trained to be as light footed as possible. She could sneak up on anyone and have a knife at their throat before they even realised she was there, so she knew she could leave the lab without waking Steve and Sam.

They needed the sleep and she had somewhere to be.

Nat maneuvered herself from under the equipment above the bed and slid her legs off the side so she was siting on the edge, the world turning blurry as the pain shot through her body again. She paused, letting her breathing steady out, then lowered herself to the ground.

The lab floor felt cold beneath her feet.

Each step made her feel sick as the pain shot through he body but she quietly stepped past her sleeping teammates and grabbed a thick blanket that had been lying next to her bed, before slipping out the lab before anyone noticed.

“Have you seen the American?” she could hear voices she didn’t recognise in the distance. “The one with the missing arm? He’s not in T’Challa’s break out room.”

Nat smirked. It sounded like she wasn’t the only one sneaking off somewhere. But he was also the person she was looking for.

Somehow she knew that she would be able to find him before they did. She had been trained to find guys like Bucky since she was a child; she knew how to stay one step ahead. Most of the time.

She glanced around and noticed a corridor that snaked in a different direction, the walls much darker than the rest with very few windows. Almost like it led into an older part of the building rarely used any more.

That’s the kind of place she wanted to be right now, and she had a feeling she wasn’t the only one.

* * *

“I think they might be looking for you,” Natasha tilted her head to the side and raised an eyebrow. She had a thick blanket draped over her shoulders and wrapped around her body and yet Bucky could still see remains of dried blood on the little of her skin visible under the blanket.

He had snuck into this room to get away from the voices and noises in the main part of the building and hadn’t thought he’d be found so soon. Especially not by Natasha. It was a warm, darkened area full of worn sofas and threadbare rugs but it felt almost hidden away from everything else. He had showered and changed into clean clothes, now all he wanted to do was shut off from the voices that pushed through his subconscious every time he closed his eyes.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Bucky pushed himself to his feet noticing how unsteady Natasha was on her own, but stopped a few steps away not daring to touch her.

“Neither should you,” she shrugged.

She had a point.

“How did you find me?”

“It’s kind of what I do,” she smirked, leaning on the doorframe.

Bucky moved to her side and directed her to the nearest sofa before her legs gave out completely. She looked exhausted.

“What are you doing here?” he asked hesitantly.

She shrugged quickly, the motion barely noticeable under the blanket.

“I needed to see you. Steve said you were going popsicle for a while.”

“He said that, did he?” Bucky asked with a laugh.

“Something along those lines.”

Bucky shook his head slightly and sat on the sofa opposite Nat.

“Where’s Steve now?” he asked.

“With Sam.”

“And where’s Sam?”

There was a pause.

“In the lab,” she answered. “Probably.”

“Probably?”

“They were asleep when I left,” she shrugged again. “They’ll be fine.”

“I knew you’d snuck out. They’re going to be pissed you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” she sighed but Bucky could hear her breath catch slightly.

There was silence again, neither daring to break it.

“I’m so, so sorry Natasha,” he spoke eventually, forcing himself to look straight at her.

“It wasn’t your fault-”

“No,” Bucky interrupted. “Please don’t forgive me.”

“It’s too late for that, Barnes,” Nat smirked but he still noticed the small wince as she pulled the blanket tighter and shivered. He knew she should still be in the lab hooked up to monitors and an oxygen supply but he had a feeling Natasha wasn’t the kind of person to do as she was told.

“I shot you,” Bucky sighed. “Again. I shot you while you were saving my life.”

“Risks of working in this business,” Nat smiled before jokingly adding, “Your friend might shoot you.”

“Friend?” Bucky questioned and Nat paused. They had only spent a few hours together over the past few years and for most of that time he had been trying to kill her.

She looked away quickly and he noticed her pull the blanket even tighter, her fists clenching. She was still in pain, he could tell.

“T’Challa seems hopeful that they can help you here,” she changed the subject and Bucky took the hint. “Shuri could give Tony a run for his money.”

“Well, she saved you so anything is possible.”

“Yeah,” Nat murmured and Bucky could see the sadness in her eyes. He really wished Steve were around, he’d know what to do in this situation.

“You ok?” Bucky asked tentatively and again Nat shrugged her shoulders.

“Do you want me to go find-?”

“No,” Nat shook her head before he could finish and Bucky could see her fight to keep her eyes open.

“Come here,” he almost whispered as he carefully lifted the blanket from her shoulders and tucked it between his knees, before helping her lie down on the sofa with his one good arm and covering her with the blanket again.

Her eyes closed almost instantly and Bucky had a feeling that even before she had been injured it had been days since she had slept properly.

“James,” she spoke quietly, on the edge of sleep. “You’ll be ok, you know. None of this was your fault. They’ll get your memories back and then you’ll remember. You might even remember me.”

Her words trailed off and Bucky frowned. He hadn’t heard the name James in years and he’d never expected to hear it from Natasha. Not so causally, as if she really was talking to an old friend.

And what did she mean, remember her? He opened his mouth to ask but could tell she had fallen asleep already and so instead he pulled the blanket a little higher and tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

* * *

As expected, Bucky was met by a frantic looking Steve and Sam when he returned to the lab, both of them turning to him ready to ask the same question.

“Yes, I know where she is,” he spoke before they had the chance and he watched as the tension released from their shoulders. “I would have brought her back but-” he nodded towards his missing arm.

“Is she ok?” Steve asked, the concern in his voice evident.

“She’s practically unconscious.” Bucky stated. “But yes, she’s safe.”

Steve and Sam followed Bucky through the corridors and stopped at the threshold to the room he had just left, Steve letting out a sigh of relief at the sight of Nat tucked up under the heavy blanket.

“Shuri is flipping out,” Sam laughed slightly. “She’s going on about percentages and her technology and I’m sure there were a few choice words mixed in.”

“Are either of you actually surprised that she disappeared?” Bucky asked and the other two smirked in unison.

“Not in the slightest,” Steve raised an eyebrow and walked to the sofa, crouching down beside Nat and resting a hand on her shoulder.

“Nat?”

She mumbled slightly in response and Steve placed the back of his hand to her forehead, frowning.

“Yep,” he sighed. “We need to get you back to the lab.”

Steve removed the blanket and scooped Nat into his arms where she instantly tucked into his chest. The sight of Natasha so small in his arms made his heart skip a beat. He had carried her unconscious from Camp Lehigh through the rubble and debris but this was different. This time it was as if she knew what was happening and had let Steve take her in his arms anyway.

He’d never known Nat to not fight back.

The relief on Shuri’s face was evident as Steve stepped back into the lab and laid Nat back on the hospital bed, the monitor blinking to life instantly.

“What is it with you Americans and your disappearing acts?” she threw her arms up in frustration and rounded on Bucky. “You’re as bad as each other.”

“I was just trying to find somewhere to sleep,” Bucky raised an eyebrow. “It’s not my fault I was gatecrashed.”

Shuri huffed.

“My brother will be back to see you soon. Stay in the lab and don’t go anywhere.”

She might be young but Bucky had no intentions of disobeying an order from Shuri – he knew better than to be that stupid.

Steve glanced up at the screen above Nat’s bed and the percentage that now seemed to draw his attention every few seconds. 67%. He wasn’t medically trained but even he could understand some of the other date displayed and knew that there was cause for concern. Temperature too high, heart rate too quick, breathing shallow. How had he fallen asleep when he was supposed to be watching out for her?

Shuri was back at her computer, her hands moving quickly across the many screens.

“She stays here until I say so,” she turned to Sam and Steve with a frown and they both nodded in agreement. “Just because her wound has healed it doesn’t mean that it’s the same internally. Who knows what’s going on now after her little adventure.”

She frowned again and adjusted some of the machinery around Natasha’s bed until she seemed happy that she could be left alone and disappeared to the back of her lab, muttering under her breath as she went.

“Why-?” Sam started as he took a seat again but Bucky interrupted.

“She came looking for me.”

Steve and Sam turned to Bucky who was still standing by the entrance, his long hair falling in front of his eyes.

“She wanted to talk,” he continued. “To tell me it wasn’t my fault.”

“Told you,” Steve raised an eyebrow. “Natasha knew the risks involved and volunteered to come along anyway. She wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

Bucky nodded slowly, looking to Steve.

“It shouldn’t have taken this.”

“Stop,” Steve warned. “None of us expected HYDRA to show up, we thought they’d all but gone.”

“I think we’ve just taken down the majority of those who were left,” Sam interjected. “But I’m with Cap on this one. None of us expected to have to fight our way here, yet we all came along willingly.”

T’Challa appeared at the door and clasped his hands.

“We’re ready,” he nodded once and Bucky mimicked his movement.

Steve looked between Natasha and Bucky but Sam noticed.

“Go,” he instructed. “I’ll keep an eye on Houdini.”

Steve seemed to move on auto-pilot yet again as they followed T’Challa into a separate laboratory, its wide windows casting natural light off every shining surface. They passed a large pod and Steve felt a lump forming in his throat just at the thought of what was going to happen.

“Don’t you want to wait until tomorrow?” Steve couldn’t help but ask once T’Challa had finished checking Bucky over again.

“You were never good at saying goodbye,” Bucky laughed slightly. “But it won’t be forever. I have to do this now.”

Steve understood but it didn’t make it any easier.

“I’ll see you real soon,” Bucky smiled. “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.”

He knew the response Bucky was looking for but couldn’t bring himself to say it. Instead he gripped Bucky by the shoulder before pulling him in to a one armed hug.

“See you soon.”

He didn’t let his composure break as Bucky stepped inside the high-tech pod they had passed on the way in. Steve trusted T’Challa and his tribe completely, and yet there was still a part of him that couldn’t shake the feeling that they were just two guys from Brooklyn lost in time. How had they managed to end up here?

He needed Bucky back, but not the version that was broken and hurting.

Steve had left as soon as the ice had started to form on the glass but couldn’t bring himself to go back to the Sam and Natasha just yet. So much had happened in such a short space of time that he felt like his brain was still catching up.

T’Challa found him as he stared out of one of the large windows that looked across the wide expanse of trees and mountains that made up Wakanda, trying not to think of the number of casualties lying just beyond the border. How many HYDRA operatives thought that what they were doing, what they believed in, was truly the right thing? And how many had been brainwashed like Bucky?

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you need,” T’Challa spoke. “Miss Romanoff will need some time to recover, but you’re all welcome here.”

“Thank you,” Steve said sincerely, hearing the word catch in his throat.

Sam was slumped so far in his chair when Steve entered the lab that he was surprised he hadn’t slid right off, but he looked up groggily when he spotted Steve behind him.

“Didn’t fall asleep this time,” he yawned and Steve didn’t have the heart to tell him that staying awake had been pointless. He was almost convinced that Shuri had turned on both the oxygen and knock-out gasses above Nat’s bed again as she had barely moved since he had left.

“I’ll swap out,” Steve smiled as he sat in the chair next to Sam and nodded his head at the door. “Go get some proper sleep.”

“I’m fine,” Sam shook his head. “I can stay.”

“Well at least go shower.”

“Are you trying to say I smell,” Sam raised an eyebrow jokingly before realising that his suit was still covered in blood. “Oh. Yeah, I’ll go shower.”

Steve waited until Sam had gone before pulling his chair closer to the side of Nat’s bed and taking her hand in his, noticing how warm it was compared to in the forest.

“We’re ok, Nat,” he sighed, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing it gently. “We’re all going to be ok.”

He was sure he was speaking to himself more than anyone else but he had to believe it. He didn’t know what he’d do otherwise.


	6. Chapter 6

Steve, Natasha and Sam remained in Wakanda for nearly five days. Shuri had finally let Nat leave the lab once the magic 100% has flashed across the screen above her bed, and she had spent the next two days mainly sleeping on the balcony under the Wakandan sun.

Steve couldn’t remember the last time they had slowed to such a pace and yet greatly welcomed the change. He could feel his own muscles relax slightly as the days passed and despite everything that had happened since their showdown at the airport, he was starting to realise that the decisions he had made over the past few weeks had led him directly to where he needed to be.

On the fourth day he had gone to find Nat in her usual space on the balcony but she wasn’t there. Nor was she in the room Okoye had allocated to her once she had left the hospital bed. Steve tried not to worry; she had been quiet since leaving the lab, often staring into the distance from the balcony with a look of contemplation in her eyes, but he had put it down to exhaustion. Natasha was independent but she wouldn’t have left Wakanda without them, would she?

He was just about to go looking for her when he heard a loud thud and knew that she was involved. He followed the sound of the commotion to a large open room that looked out onto the vast land in front of the main building.

Shuri was lying flat on her back, Nat crouched over the top of her with one hand pinning her down and the other raised in a fist.

Steve paused at the doorway both amused and surprised, an unusual feeling of relief washing over him at the sight of Natasha about to punch the young woman who had saved her life only days before. His instinct told him to break up whatever was going on but he knew Nat well enough to know she was holding back.

He had trained with her too many times to not notice the signs, and knew that Natasha rarely paused. She preferred to punch you in the face and call it a lesson.

“Really?” Shuri moaned. “What am I doing wrong?”

Nat stood and held out a hand, pulling Shuri to her feet.

“You’re thinking too much,” she shrugged. “And you’re letting your guard down far too quick. Keep your hands up.”

Natasha took a hold of Shuri’s hands and positioned them in front of her.

“Keep them here until you know you can hit the mark.”

“Ok, again.”

Nat raised her own hands and stepped back into a stance Steve knew all too well. Shuri threw the first punch and Nat blocked it with ease.

“Come on, move strategically,” she goaded and Shuri frowned. “You’re the brightest person I’ve ever met, but you need to stop thinking so much.”

Steve could see the frustration in Shuri’s eyes as she circled. Her arm twitched before she crouched and kicked out hard, sending Natasha to the ground with a thud.

“Yes!” she grinned but Nat kicked out her own leg and Shuri toppled. Nat had moved before Shuri hit the ground and was crouched over the top of her again within seconds.

“Better,” she smiled. “But remember the fight isn’t going to stop because you got a punch in.”

Steve laughed and they both looked up.

“Think you would win against the Captain?” Shuri asked playfully.

“Oh, every time,” Nat smirked and Steve had a funny feeling she was right. He wouldn’t dare pick a fight with Natasha Romanoff, sparring with her was bad enough.

“I think that’s enough practice for today,” Nat stood and held out her hand again. “I’ll teach you a few more things before we leave.”

“You do realise she’s a princess?” he had asked her later that day when he found Nat sat in the sun again, a hand resting below her ribs and knowing she was still in pain. Not that she would admit it, but he knew the signs and doubted a sparring session had helped the healing process.

“Yes,” Nat had shrugged. “And? You think if she’s ever faced with aliens or HYDRA or any other threat that they’re going to go easy on her because of her bloodline? Look where we are, Steve. Look at the technology they have. This place is only going to stay hidden for so long and she needs to be prepared for the worst case scenario.”

Steve had nodded slowly, knowing she was right.

“She has the best weapons on the planet but they’re worth nothing if you can’t fight without them.”

“So you’re teaching her,” Steve smiled. “And you’re ok?” He asked hesitantly.

“I’m fine,” she smiled back, standing and placing a hand on his cheek. “You really need to stop asking that.”

She disappeared again leaving Steve looking out over Wakanda with a feeling that she was keeping something from him.

It was late in the evening on day five that Natasha announced they should leave, knowing that Steve wouldn’t make the decision. 

“If we don’t go now then when will we?”

She had a point. Sam had shrugged and Steve had taken it as an indication that he was only staying because no one had mentioned leaving yet.

T’Challa and the Dora Milaje had arranged an aircraft to take them wherever they needed to go and met them on the outskirts of Wakanda’s shields as the sun was setting.

Steve watched Nat laugh with Shuri, moving into different stances with the younger woman copying. The setting sun caught her red hair and Steve shook away the images of the red that filled his eyes whenever he closed them at night.

“What are they talking about?” Sam questioned as he tightened his wings and shrugged his shoulders, nodding at Shuri and Nat.

“Your friend has been teaching my sister hand to hand combat,” T’Challa smirked. “Apparently you’re only as good as your most basic weapon. You’d think with the amount of Vibranium she works with every day that she would be happy with all our gadgets, but Miss Romanoff has convinced her otherwise.”

Okoye appeared from the aircraft and nodded at Steve.

“It’s ready when you are. You need me to give you a crash course in how it flies?”

“It’s not us that’ll be flying it,” Sam nodded towards Nat. “But I wouldn’t use the phrase ‘crash course’. I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

Shuri grinned as Natasha tied her fire head hair into a quick plait.

“No one is going to practice with me now you’re leaving,” she pouted but Nat shrugged.

“Then practice on your own and surprise them when they’re least expecting it,” she winked. “It’s not just your brother that knows how to fight. You have a whole tribe of strong woman that can train with you; you just need to show them what you can do. In and out of the lab.”

Shuri smiled widely.

“I made you something,” she said, reaching into a small drawstring bag on her back and pulling out a set of thin batons. “I know you usually fight with these and your Widow Bites. Please don’t think I’m a stalker, I just did a little research.”

Nat laughed. There was plenty of information about her circling the Internet – she had helped put it there when they had brought down SHIELD – and she only hoped that Shuri hadn’t done too much research.

“Anyway, I made you a new set. They’re light but strong and still contain your Widow Bite technology,” Shuri continued. “So you can, you know, zap and hit people at the same time.”

“They’re brilliant,” Nat smiled, weighing them up in her hands and spinning them around her wrists. “Thank you.”

“Well I don’t want you turning up in my lab half dead again, do I?”

“I think it was more than half, right? “Sam goaded as he strode over. “I know what the two percent meant-“

“Yeah, and I’m 100% going to kick your ass, Wilson,” Nat had spun on the spot and was now pointing one of her new batons at Sam’s neck, a playful smirk on her lips.

Shuri giggled at the look on Sam’s face and Steve rolled his eyes. It was good to have his team back, even if the thought of leaving Bucky behind was still painful.

“Please don’t kill each other before we meet again!” Shuri laughed.

“Thank you,” Steve changed the tone, watching as Nat punched Sam on the arm harder than he was expecting. “If it hadn’t been for you-”

The thought brought the lump back to his throat and he swallowed hard.

“You don’t need to keep thanking me,” Shuri shrugged before smirking. “But I don’t mind if you want to continue.”

T’Challa shook their hands as they left, Shuri giving them each a quick hug, and Steve felt relieved knowing that they would look after Bucky until he returned.

The aircraft they were borrowing was compact but big enough for the three of them to comfortably stretch out for the flight back to New York. They waved as they took off, before Nat pulled the jet into the sky and they broke through the shields, leaving the safety of Wakanda behind them.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence Sam appeared from the back of the jet and leant on the back of Steve’s chair.

“So, what next Cap?”

Steve looked to Natasha and sighed slightly.

“We lay low until we figure out where to go,” he said. “We stay off the radar and give them no excuses to look for us.”

He shrugged and tilted his head.

“You’re the boss.”

There was a silence as Steve waited for Natasha to speak but she kept her eyes fixed on the skyline in front of her, chewing on her lip.

“You’ll call us when you’re on your way back, right?” he asked eventually and Sam frowned in confusion. “Once you’re finished doing what you have to do?”

Nat turned to him then and he could see the tears brimming in her eyes.

“Of course I will,” she smiled. “I’ll be a month tops, I promise. You know I’ll be able to find you again.”

“Hang on,” Sam was stood up straight again, hands on hips. “What are you talking about? Where are you going and why aren’t we going too?”

“Russia,” Natasha and Steve spoke in unison.

“There’s just a few things I need to sort out,” Nat added. “But don’t worry Wilson, I’ll be back to kick your ass before you have time to miss me.”

Steve smiled as Sam rolled his eyes and threw himself down on the bench behind him, crossing his arms in mock annoyance.

Their trip to Wakanda may not have gone to plan but he would be forever thankful that both Natasha and Sam had gone with him. He wouldn’t have got Bucky to Wakanda without them.

He still got that uneasy feeling in his stomach whenever he thought of how close he had come to losing one of his best friends, and the thought of having to tell Clint what had happened, but he had to remind himself that despite the fact she didn’t have a super-serum coursing through her veins Natasha was stronger than people thought. She wouldn’t let something like an alien weapon take her down in battle.

And she’d be back soon. As soon as she had dealt with her own demons that hid in Russia.

“We don’t have to go back right away though, do we?” Sam asked and the other two frowned. “I mean, I know T’Challa said the jet will practically fly itself back to Wakanda once we’re done with it, but we can make a quick stop first?”

“Where were you thinking?” Nat questioned.

“Well I’ve always wanted to see a koala,” Sam smirked.

“We’re not taking the jet to Australia, Sam!” Nat laughed. “That’s not a quick stop!”

“Fine, fine,” he smirked. “Disneyland?”

They laughed and Natasha rolled her eyes as she directed the jet back to New York, the conversation drifting to who was most likely to puke on a rollercoaster.

“It would be Clint.”

“Nah, he’s used to heights. He’d be fine.”

“Maybe Banner, although I wouldn’t like to risk an appearance from the other guy at speed.”

Natasha watched as Steve and Sam acted out each other’s reactions, together with high-pitched screams as they waved their arms around, and couldn’t help but feel lucky at having them both in her life.

The last place she wanted to go right now was Russia and yet she had a nagging feeling that was pulling her in that direction. Knowing Bucky was getting the help he needed had somehow brought home just how much damage had been done to her when she was younger; how many lies had been placed in her mind as she was picked apart and molded into a killer.

There were things she had to face before it was too late. She was fed up of living her life with regret and uncertainty. She didn’t expect it to be easy – it never was when she returned to her homeland – but she was used to fighting her way through life. She had grown up with the demons that lived in her mind, the ones that screamed at her whenever her thoughts flickered to the Red Room.

Natasha had to stay one step ahead but she couldn’t do that if she was constantly living two steps behind. Her past was messy, it always would be, but it also held answers that she needed to find.

And she knew that once her past had been dealt with she had a family waiting for her back home. It might take her a while to reunite them all again, but Natasha Romanoff was always up for a challenge.

Some things were worth fighting for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I always imagined this taking place just before the Black Widow film (is anyone else on a new count-down until the release date?) - we all know Nat meets up with Steve and Sam later but I still think she would have helped the others escape The Raft. Even if it was just to annoy Tony after what he said to her.
> 
> Anyway, I'd love to know what you thought (if you made it this far) - this was the first time I've tried writing all but Nat so I'm sorry if they were really out of character! I have a few other ideas (mainly Nat based) if anyones interested? Some angsty ideas, some post Endgame and a few fluffy, domestic Avengers ideas. Let me know! :) Thanks x x


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